RANSVE ransvestia

sexual identity. This nuclear idea is added to continuously all during infancy and childhood and through adolescence too until we become sexually mature individuals capable of reproductive function. That is not news. But more or less simultaneously with this learning process leading to self sexual identity, there goes on a process of thinking of ourselves as being individuals who are "like mommy" or "like daddy." We are of course like one or the other parent on the sexual level, but at early ages this is not so significant as all the other differences between mother and father or sister and brother or, to generalize be- tween boys and men on the one hand and girls and women on the other, as discerned not only in our own homes but at school, with relatives, neighbors, etc. We therefore early develop self concepts of "I am a boy" or "I am a girl" with the projection that I will grow up someday to be a person like daddy or like mommy. Thus is born gender identity. Since this is being written for and largely will be read by persons of male sexual identity I will from here on deal with that side of the story but with the understanding on the reader's part that in considerable degree the story is much the same but oppositely oriented for females.

We learn our gender role in a variety of ways as we grow up. Some things are directly taught to us "little boys don't cry, that is for girls." Other things we learn by simple observations - girls may wear their hair differently, may dress differently - at least at parties if not for day-to-day play, boys receive different kinds of toys at birthdays and Christmas, etc. We also learn by peer pressure since if we manifest too much interest in playing jacks or hopskotch with the girls when our boy playmates are playing baseball we will soon be made to realize that we are not adequately boyish. We may learn the hard way the meaning of the word "sissy." So in due course all the things we have learned whether by teaching, by admonition, by ob- servation and example or whatever, come together in our heads with the formation of the concept of "I am a boy and I'll grow up to be a man." The other side of this coin is the negative one of, "I am not a girl and I will not grow up to be a lady like mother." The foregoing sets forth the basic sources of our two identities, sexual identity which is anatomical and physiological and genderal identity which is psy- chological and sociological.

Now as all FPs are painfully (and also pleasurably) aware, we have, by one means or another, made a reality type contact with that part of ourselves which originally had the potential for developing a girl-

79